<?php
/**
 * <https://y.st./>
 * Copyright © 2017 Alex Yst <mailto:copyright@y.st>
 * 
 * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
 * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
 * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
 * (at your option) any later version.
 * 
 * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
 * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
 * GNU General Public License for more details.
 * 
 * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 * along with this program. If not, see <https://www.gnu.org./licenses/>.
**/

$xhtml = array(
	'<{title}>' => 'My laptop died.',
	'<{body}>' => <<<END
<section id="to-do">
	<h2>To-do list</h2>
	<ul>
		<li>
			Acquire stuff for my new home:
			<ul>
				<li>
					A bed
				</li>
				<li>
					A dustpan
				</li>
				<li>
					A carpet broom
				</li>
			</ul>
		</li>
		<li>
			Inform people that I&apos;ve moved
			<ul>
				<li>
					Relevant online accounts
				</li>
			</ul>
		</li>
		<li>
			Finish stabilizing <a href="https://git.volatile.ch./y.st./include.d/releases">include.d</a> and put out another release (low priority)
		</li>
		<li>
			Clean up my apartment
			<ul>
				<li>
					<del>Clean up the living room</del>
				</li>
				<li>
					Clean up the kitchen
				</li>
			</ul>
		</li>
		<li>
			Finish the library&apos;s &quot;bingo&quot; sheet (these tasks were typed verbatim, and include any mistakes and quirks present on the sheet handed to me)
			<ul>
				<li>
					Attend any library program
				</li>
				<li>
					Read a book you found using Novelist. A librarian can help!
				</li>
				<li>
					<del>Read a nonfiction title</del>
				</li>
				<li>
					Read a poem by Oregon Poet Laureate Elizabeth Woody
				</li>
				<li>
					<del>Read a book checked out from the Springfield Library (print, ebook, or audio)</del>
				</li>
				<li>
					Read a graphic novel
				</li>
				<li>
					<del>Read an author you have never read before</del>
				</li>
				<li>
					Get outside: read in a Willamalane park for one hour willamalane.org
				</li>
				<li>
					Browse the Gale Virtual Reference Library. A librarian can help!
				</li>
				<li>
					Build, draw, or make something based on a book that you read
				</li>
				<li>
					Read a science fiction title
				</li>
				<li>
					Share a book recommendation
				</li>
				<li>
					Read an award-winning book
				</li>
				<li>
					<del>Read a book from a library display</del>
				</li>
				<li>
					Suggest a library program you would attend
				</li>
				<li>
					Read a new book (published in 2016 or 2017)
				</li>
				<li>
					Read a young adult or children&apos;s book
				</li>
				<li>
					Read something funny and have a good laugh :)
				</li>
				<li>
					Look at the art in the City Hall Gallery. There&apos;s a new show every month!
				</li>
				<li>
					Volunteer for a couple hours at a community organization of your choice.
				</li>
				<li>
					Download one of the library&apos;s free apps or search in a database. A librarian can help!
				</li>
				<li>
					Read a book that takes place in another country
				</li>
			</ul>
		</li>
	</ul>
</section>
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		I noticed today that my laptop&apos;s power cord had overheated and fused to the machine.
		In a stupid attempt to fix the thing, I jostled it loose.
		That was a very bad idea.
		Now the thing won&apos;t charge at all.
		It looks like I haven&apos;t backed my data up in almost a year, either.
		I&apos;d gotten pretty good about it, backing up once each month, but lately ... not so much.
		I managed to pull some of my files from the machine as the power drained, but the file manager crashed, so I don&apos;t even know for sure if I managed to get the entire directory I was after.
		I also didn&apos;t have time to back up <strong>*any*</strong> of my home directory.
		I would&apos;ve headed to NextStep Recycling to get a new one today, but I had only two hours, and feared that wouldn&apos;t be enough time before work.
		I&apos;ve been meaning to replace the thing, as it&apos;s been functioning poorly and sometimes even freezing, but I keep putting it off.
		I didn&apos;t have time to go computer shopping, but then again, I <strong>*really*</strong> don&apos;t have time to be left without a computer as I am now.
		I can&apos;t move forward in <strong>*any*</strong> direction without one.
		Coursework?
		Requires a computer.
		Getting my telephone line set up?
		Requires a computer.
		Getting my business cards ordered?
		Requires a telephone number and a computer.
		Getting my $a[TLS] certificate set up?
		Requires a computer.
		Right now, I&apos;m pretty much boned, and not in the fun way.
		Without a computer, I&apos;d say I&apos;m going to be moving backwards, even.
		In addition to not being able to keep up with coursework, I can&apos;t keep up with my journal.
	</p>
	<p>
		I had only two hours before I needed to leave for work.
		I felt trying to make it to the recycling centre would be too risky.
		I might end up late to work, so I considered other options.
		After a bit, I reluctantly decided to try to set up my old server as a desktop system.
		If I got it set up, I might be able to install the desktop after figuring out how to use the command line interface to connect to a local Wi-...
		Oh.
		That&apos;s right, I accidentally gave away my Wi-Fi card.
		I can&apos;t connect to Wi-Fi with it.
		No desktop for me, but more importantly, no way to reach my coursework or anything else I need to reach.
	</p>
	<p>
		At work, I felt kind of conspicuous in my new rainbow pendant with interlocked male symbols.
		Honestly, no one cares I&apos;m gay.
		Well, aside from me, and I&apos;m kind of devastated about it.
		However, a tiny little charm on my neck doesn&apos;t make me stand out any more than I&apos;ve stood out in the past.
	</p>
	<p>
		Once I got home, the parent of the on-site property manager gave me a coffee maker.
		Nice?
		I don&apos;t really drink coffee, but it&apos;s the thought that counts.
		I might get some coffee to keep around for my infrequent all-night study sessions that come up when I don&apos;t use my time well.
		I might have one this week, seeing as I lost the first day due to catching up from the week before (due to the emotional issues of two weeks prior), losing the second day today because I have no computer, and losing the third day tomorrow due to needing to bike to Eugene to get a new machine.
	</p>
	<p>
		Without a regular computer, I took notes for today&apos;s journal entry on my mobile, so I could construct my entry later.
		The next day (tomorrow, from this entry&apos;s perspective), my mobile would freak out and delete my notes.
		It&apos;s a good thing I didn&apos;t write out the full entry on the mobile!
		I reconstructed my notes as best as possible from memory, but I&apos;ve probably left out a lot of events, seeing as I had a lot of notes I can&apos;t remember.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> could not be updated today due to technical difficulties.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="library">
	<h2>Library task list</h2>
	<p>
		Unable to do anything of importance or urgency, I used my time to finish reading that library book I borrowed.
		I came across a couple interesting facts.
		First, children start developing their gender at about age three.
		If I can figure out how I was at that period of my life, I can better assess whether I was supposed to make a transition to the other sex.
		I&apos;ll have to ask my parents about it when I have time.
		I need to consult <strong>*both*</strong> parents though, just in case one isn&apos;t honest.
		Second, transgender children have the highest suicide rate.
		I tried to kill myself a number of times as a child, I just was too cowardly to follow through at the time.
		This could be coincidence, or it could point to something.
		I&apos;ll know better once I ask my parents about my play habits around three to five years of age.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="mental">
	<h2>Mental health watch</h2>
	<p>
		An old memory resurfaced at work today.
		My mother used to beat me with a spatula as a young child.
		It&apos;s been so long that I&apos;d forgotten.
		It&apos;s no wonder I&apos;m so messed up.
		I&apos;d thought there was only verbal abuse, but there was physical abuse as well.
	</p>
	<p>
		I thought my logical side had my emotional side in check.
		However, it appears not.
		At work, I was hit by a wave of despair.
		I&apos;m going to die alone.
		I&apos;ll never find love.
		I&apos;ll never love and I&apos;ll never be loved.
		Why is life so terrible?
		I wish I was dead already.
		Wait, I do?
		I wish I was dead?
		Where did that come from?
		This was the worst I&apos;ve felt in my life though, as far as I can remember.
		I&apos;ve been suicidal before, but it&apos;s always been the case that I&apos;d rather be dead than be in my then-current situation.
		It&apos;s always been that if I could get past it, everything would potentially be fine.
		But now?
		This situation won&apos;t end.
		I&apos;m stuck with it until I pass away.
		I&apos;m nowhere near the point where I want to actually end myself, I was only feeling I wanted it all to be over.
		That is to say, I&apos;m not suicidal.
		Yet.
		However, the fact that I&apos;ve been suicidal in the past and it didn&apos;t feel as bad as this doesn&apos;t bode well.
		I should be able to continue on for quite a while to come, but if too many of these waves of despair hit me, I don&apos;t know how long I&apos;ll be able to resist them, especially if they continue to grow.
	</p>
	<p>
		This wave today was brought on I think by an instance of self-reflection.
		I&apos;m a terrible person now.
		I&apos;ve never liked the idea of marriage.
		In a way the two partners <strong>*own*</strong> each other.
		Owning someone and/or being owned is horrible.
		But now ... I came to realise that in my new state, I <strong>*want*</strong> to be owned by a man that loves me, and I <strong>*want*</strong> to exert ownership over him in turn.
		To be clear, my view on marriage hasn&apos;t changed in the least.
		I still view it as a binding contract of mutual ownership of one another.
		It&apos;s also not that I&apos;ll put up with what marriage is because of what it entails.
		Rather, it&apos;s this ownership aspect that I crave; both directions of it.
		What kind of monster am I!?
		It doesn&apos;t matter though, seeing as I won&apos;t find love anyway.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="university">
	<h2>University life</h2>
	<p>
		The school website is set up pretty screwy, so this term, I hadn&apos;t really checked my feedback from my professors yet.
		If JavaScript&apos;s enabled, the website is a huge pain to use.
		If JavaScript&apos;s disabled, there seems to be no link to the on-site inbox.
		I&apos;ve gotten a bookmark to the inbox set now though, so I can check feedback as I&apos;m alerted to it via email.
		I went through the feedback from past weeks.
		It seems one of my professors thinks my coding style is professional.
		Nice!
	</p>
</section>
END
);
